


The fallen angel plays Minecraft

by Kotaku



Series: ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)Love live crack( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°) [1]
Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Bad Slang, Discord call, Everyone's favorite squad, F/F, Fattymaru, Jimo ai because fuck, Minor Sakurauchi Riko/Takami Chika, Multi, Pure Crack, Riko tries to be a basic white girl, You is really blunt, everyone makes fun of riko's uggs, shitlord! Mari, very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2020-09-01 03:47:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20251660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kotaku/pseuds/Kotaku
Summary: Yoshiko, You, Mari, and Kanan play Minecraft, Yoshiko tries to suppress her feelings for You, who doesn't make it any better, Mari is a shitlord, and they all deal with Riko wearing uggs. Hilarity ensues.





	1. You is a lightweight

**Author's Note:**

> I have a bunch of unreleased crack that I need to get out of my drafts, This series is the girl's from sunshine being scary as fuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kanan exposes You,-Riko, Chika, Hanamaru, and Dia get into an online fight, Mari hasn't unlocked her full shitlord potential yet, and Yoshiko dies way too early

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so they don't actually start playing Minecraft fully until the next chapter, but still read this chapter for some context. It's a bit different than what I'd usually write, something I tried with the only other fanfic I've posted on this site, 'Ultimate Rwby Randomness' which I plan on editing and posting the rest of the chapters.
> 
> -Yoshiko's mom is on a business trip for the next 2 weeks but knows You is staying over  
-Riko is still scared of dogs in this  
-They're a little ooc but thats because of the cussing  
-don't take this seriously its just a crackfic I wrote this for fun

Yoshiko, You, Mari, and Kanan play Minecraft

"Shiko… Yoshiko!" 

Yoshiko jerked up and snapped out of her daydream. You had been complaining about Riko wearing uggs, and her petition to build a starbucks coffee since their town had no cafè. 

"First of all, it's Yohane, I was thinking about a game one of my dark angels told me to play on my stream, and I thought we already got uggs banned in our town due to that one time we caught Chika fu-" 

"Anyway!" You quickly pressed her finger to Yoshiko’s lips, cutting off the goth. 

"Um, so someone suggested me a block game thing called 'Minecraft' and they said it's better playing with more people so you wanna play?" 

Yoshiko sounded pretty nonchalant in her question, but her eyes sparkled and she looked excited at the chance to stream a game with her friends for once, as much as she would never admit it. 

"Sure. I've played that before with Chika I think. Also we just missed our stop-" 

In a flur or motion, Yoshiko grabbed You, who had both of their bags in hand, and made a dive through the window, their bags breaking their fall.

"Yoshiko what the actual-" 

"It is only because I, the legend27, have such power that we survived today captain crunch." 

"Is that a pet name or a demon name?" You's question flew flat as she saw that the fallen angel was nowhere to be found. 

"There goes Riko again and her goddamn uggs." You mumbled as Riko ran over her with the $5000 uggs she got from Mari. 

\---------

The next day, Yoshiko started asking her other friends around if they wanted to play minecraft or not.

"Hey Fattymaru, do you wanna play minecraft with me and You?" 

"Yoshiko just you wait until I finally fucking snap. I'm playing Roblox with Ruby, and Dia too since she wants to make sure it's 'family friendly' Zura."

Yoshiko rested her hands on her chin, a thinking motion set with her fingers. 

"So that leaves about 3 of our friends left to possibly manipulate into playing a game with me!” Yoshiko said as she moved on to the next victim person. 

"_ oh _, I'm a God at minecraft. Can Kanan play with us too?" Mari spun in her office chair as she responded to Yoshiko, making her speech inconsistent.

"Why of course thy shitlord! All of my little demon's are welcome."

The dark haired girl went to go find Riko and Chika, except this time she was accompanied by her best little demon, You. 

"There goes Riko and her goddamn uggs again." You whispered to Yoshiko as they approached the basic ginger. 

"Why are they gray, I thought they were white this morning?" 

Riko turned around, hearing footsteps. 

"Oh my god like literally lol hi guys wanna go to Starbucks today omg!" 

"Uh, I'm actually sick that day. Do you know if Chika'a free after school? 

"Well like, we're gonna play Roblox today I heard it's all the rage."

The two simultaneously breezed past her, You jumped over Riko, and yoshiko slid under her. 

"Guys wait!-" Riko tried to run after them but within the irony of the moment tripped over her uggs and dropped her unicorn frappuccino.

"like, literally why have you forsaken me?! FOLLOW ME ON TUMBLR!" 

\----------

Friday came, and the 'Fuck Roblox' Squad, as named by Mari, showed up at Yoshiko's house, You was sleeping over though, so she just went home with her, waiting for everyone else to show up. 

Kanan showed up at the door first, laptop and mouse in hand. 

Yoshiko was getting ready to start the stream, before having a thought. "I should setup the stream tomorrow so I get used to the game." Yoshiko made her way to her room taking a pre-game nap. 

Kanan and You were setting up their laptops, Kanan already having had the game downloaded, You pirating the game since she hadn't had it on her pc.

"You know I can just send you the download right? I bought it like a law abiding hecking citizen."

"FBI OPEN UP!" 

"Fuck I-" You ran into Yoshiko's room and hid under the covers. 

"Oh, hey Mari." Kanan opened the door to expose the shitlord. 

"I heard you gays were doing some illegal shit."

"That was just You, I am a law abiding citizen." 

_*Yoshiko's Room*_

Yoshiko woke up abruptly as she felt two strong hands around her waist, and a pressure on her chest. 

"Who's there?!" 

"Hm? Oh what's up Yoshiko?" You looked up at the slightly shorter girl, motorboating her on the process. 

the dark haired girl was too flustered to do even speak, her words coming out in a stutter. 

"MY GAYDAR IS GOING OFF!" 

Mari, being the inconsiderate little shit she is, kicked the door to Yoshiko's room down, Kanan casually behind her. "Hey! Do that _ after _we play minecraft, damn."

"Sorry Mari we'll continue later." You finally moved her head from the fallen angel's bosom. 

"Why are you backing up her claim!? Aren't you supposed to be the straight man anyways?" 

"I ain't no straight man, quite the opposite really."

"Stop flirting already, you can fuck after we play minecraft!" 

After You reluctantly moved from her spot, and Yoshiko had an argument with herself over why she missed the ashen-haired girls embrace, the 'Fuck Roblox' Squad got into their respective positions. 

Kanan suggested moving to different areas in the house, to avoid Mari's fits of rage. 

Kanan moved into the bathroom, after finding a high stool to steady her laptop. You immediately went back into Yoshiko's room, getting comfortable under the covers once again. Mari weirdly sat on the couch like a normal person, and the hostess herself was in a different bathroom. 

\-----------

**[Discord call] **

Group name: 420 GRUccigang

**Mari**: Yo did anyone set up the server yet

-

**Yoshiko**: Lilly#2 said she was doing it I think 

-

**Kanan**: wtf is that my fallen angel name? Also I already set it up I just sent you the server domain n started the game 

-

**You**: dude Yoshiko has these cute cat panties you have to see them

**You turns on her video camera to show her wearing them on her head. **

-

A loud bang could be heard along with the aggressive sound of footsteps. 

-

**You**: wait, wait I'm sorry im- WAIT NO 

-

**Mar**i: Oh my God just fuck already 

-

**Kanan**: Mari does have a point 

_ PrettyBomberHead has joined the server _

_ Waturr has joined the server _

The sounds of terror could be heard throughout the house for a good while before coming to an abrupt stop. 

_ Yohane has joined the server _

_ Yohane's Bitch has joined the server _

**You**: I'm being punished 

**Yoshiko**: Shall we start this for real now my demonic helpers? 

**Mari**: We been start the damn game Yohane

\------------

"Ruby, can you please stop delivering all the pizza's to the wrong houses, zura?"

"That's coming from someone that keeps walking backwards, but alright I suppose." Ruby and Hanamaru worked in delivery

Dia was reluctant to play such game, labeling it as a waste of time. "Why do I have to cook with this absolute dullard? She's not even making the pizza properly she's just dropping them."

"Because builder brothers pizza is my favorite game on this and your lame-ass isn't going to ruin this for me.”

Ruby and Dia both gaped at Hanamaru, mouths open.

“Hm? Oh, zura.”

“That’s what I thought” Dia mumbled as she stared back at her computer.

Ruby’s face turned into that of a horrified one, a piercing scream filled the room. “Ruby, what’s wrong!?” The other girls asked frantically in sync.

“SOMEONE JUMPED IN MY CAR AND THEY’RE THREATENING ME!”

+Roblox private server log+

**Ganbaruby** : Hello? Can you please get out of the car?  
  
**Rikochi**: Drive me to the nearest starbucks or im finna ######## ##### and follow me on tumblr @Mikansmakemecum

**Ganbaruby**: This is a pizza game there is no coffee shop um

**Rikochi**: I SAID ######### ####

**Zuramaru**: Go commit die get off of roblox >:(

**Chikan**: don't talk to my girlfriend like that

**Zuramaru**: Your girlfriend looks like my mom

**PenginDia**: If you continue to harass my baby sister I will personally see to myself that this whole restaurant gets burned to the ground, All coffee beans in this entire country get banned, I will throw all of your uggs and leggings into Shitake’s doghouse, doxx you, and block you on tumblr.

**Rikochi**: ….*leaves game*

\------------

**Yoshiko**: Why the hell are you hitting the tree 

**You**: You have to do that to start the game dude

**You**: What we should be wondering is why Mari keeps buying Riko those ugly ass uggs life was fine before she discovered them

**Mari**: We have a deal

**Kanan**: Oh?

**Mari**: She stalks Kanan for me and takes pictures and I get her all the uggs and wigs she wants

**Kanan**: Mari I swear if you aren’t kidding

**Mari**: ….it’s joke?

**You**: SHE HAS WIGS?!

**Yoshiko**: Ow! Why did you hit me I will use you as a sacrifice as you sleep don’t tempt me peasant

**Kanan**: Why did you say ow its not like you felt it 

**You** : woah, Sheep drop meat now?  
  
**Yoshiko** : How did you kill that sheep with your bare hands You?  
  
**You**: You can kill anything in this game if you just believe 

**Mari**: Just like how anything can be a dildo if you just believe

**Yoshiko**: Someone kick her 

**Kanan**: lets try to find a village so we don’t die later You killed all the damn sheep

**You**: there were only like 2 

Yoshiko didn’t notice the three going in a different direction, since she was fascinated by the water.

**Yoshiko**: omg help I’m losing health

**You**: did you go underwater or something?

**Yoshiko**: I mean yeah I thought I wouldnt start drowning

_ Yohane _drowned

A big ‘You Died’ Screen came up on Yoshiko’s Laptop, accompanied by a ‘Title-Screen and Respawn button, and her friend's laughter' She clicked the ‘Respawn’ button, understanding that the game was challenging her, Yoshiko was not one to back down from that.

**Yoshiko**: Where did you guys go i’m in the same place I spawned in

**Mari**: smh how do you die within the first 5 minutes of minecraft

**Kanan**: We went to go find a village but uh go north

**Yoshiko**: Where the fuck is north

**Mari**: You go find your girlfriend we’ll set a landmark

**Yoshiko**: we’re not dating you heathen

You tried to find the water Yoshiko drowned in just a few seconds ago, Spotting the custom-made minecraft skin the goth girl had just blocks away from it.

**Mari**: I brought whiskey

**Kanan**: Mari, no. Your rage is even worse when you’re drunk

You: Can we have some too

**Yoshiko**: Legit you guys are like 17

**Mari**: go into the living room I got the good stuff

**Yoshiko**: I, the fallen angel Yohane, cannot believe I am friends with you people.

Yoshiko heard the door to her room open, and footsteps to the bathroom Mari was in.

Mari pulled out 2 beer glasses and a bottle of whiskey. Kanan and Yoshiko heard Mari chanting over the line, 

**Mari**: Chug! Chug! Chug!

**Yoshiko**: Shit i’m actually concerned 

**Kanan**: Oh no oh my god You please don’t

On her way back to Yoshiko’s Room, Mari gave her something to Kanan. She opened the bathroom door and set an empty wine glass on the sink counter, She gave her a thumbs up and left the bathroom.

**Mari**: You, did you give Kanan the wine I gave you? 

You: ye

**Kanan**: What wine? I just got a glass

**Mar**i: shit

**Yoshiko**: wait, didn’t Chika say something about You being hella lightweight? Like she gets ‘drunk’ off of even sparkling water.

**Kanan**: I tried to warn you assholes, when she’s ‘drunk’ she dry-humps everything in sight. It’s good for blackmail at least, I have some very interesting footage of You chasing Dia around after chugging fanta that I am more than happy to share.

**Yoshiko**: Wait shes sleeping over fuck

**Mari**: omg show us I need something to Blackmail You to expose Chika’s secrets 

Kanan sent the video in the group dms

\-----**The video**\-----

“Back! Get back you heathen!” Dia had a broom in her left hand, a cross around her neck, a water gun with the absolute most holy of waters, and some crocs.

You was wearing nothing but a pair of black shorts, her snapback and a bra, hissing as dia kept spraying her. 

“But I want to be nico nico knee deep in your-” You was cut off as Dia smacked her with the broom. 

“How the fuck did this even happen, zura?” Hanamaru watched the scene next to the christmas tree as she ate her 54th loaf of bread.

“Don’t know, don’t care. Until the others come back, i’ll record this for blackmail.

“I meant I wanted to be knee deep in your bed sheets im tired goddammit woman my heart belongs to Yoshiko!” You was now grinding against the christmas tree, provoking the mom of the group even further.

“OH MY HOLY GOODNESS YOU GET OFF OF THE CHRISTMAS TREE WHAT IF ONE OF THE JESUS ORNAMENTS FALLS OFF!”

You removed herself from the prickly tree with a few scratches, and started towards Dia, ignoring Kanan who was rolling on the floor hollering in the background.

She started humping the air while close enough to Dia, while screaming the lyrics to ‘Save Room’ 

“SAVE ROOM FOR MY LOOOVE, SAVE ROOM FOR A MOMENT TO BE WITH ME!”

“Put a shirt on sweet Jesus!” Dia was now actively running from the swimmer, trying to alert the others to save her. “And we don’t listen to John Legend in this household! Not after he released pda!”

“We left for 25 minutes to go to walmart and this happens.” Mari started. “Why does this never happen while _ I’m _in the room?!”

As Mari set the bags on the kitchen counter the camera switched view to Dia yelling at You down the hall. 

“I won’t hesitate bitch!” Dia pointed the water gun towards the shirtless girl. 

“How come I can’t talk dirty but you can cuss?!” 

“Because John Legend! Now stop humping my bed!” 

The footage stopped there

\----------

Mari: I can’t _ believe _ I forgot about this iconic moment!

Yoshiko: ...

Kanan: She tends to be very blunt as well as you just saw, she was telling the truth all throughout the video. 

Mari: Whats wrong Yoshiko? Are you mesmerized by the water dripping down her abs or what?

Yoshiko: Shut up shiny

Kanan: should we come back tomorrow? Mari’s probably sober right now but then again it's whiskey, and You is definitely 'drunk' and I'm not tryna catch a case

Yoshiko: Yeah uh, let’s try again next week. I’ll probably just stream a ritual or something 

Kanan left the call and Mari did the same, Yoshiko heard rustling on You’s side of the call. 

“See you next week good luck with You!" Kanan called as she opened Yoshiko's front door. 

"Don't have too much fun!" Mari followed suit, the pair having now left the house. 

Yoshiko heard the door open and close, groaning, she went to go lock it. Then, she went to go check on You.

“You, are you still in here?

Yoshiko's face went blank as she saw that You was on her bed, dry humping the lewd side of a body pillow with… Yoshiko on it. 

"Ah! It's not what you think babe!" Her words were slurred and she covered herself and the pillow with the black silk blanket on Yoshiko’s bed.

“How did you even get that?!” 

“I had it custom made.”

"wait then how did you get that pictu-" 

"That's not important." The ashen haired girl cut off the dark haired girl. "What is important is that there are now 2 of you, and I don’t know which one I want.”

“Wow you actually sound conflicted.”

In an effort to make the poor girl flush even harder, You continued grinding on her body pillow. "I am full speed ahead, for your ass Yohane."

"Which one of me are you talking about and why are you so goddamn horny all of the sudden?" 

Getting no response from the girl on her bed, Yoshiko set up a camera on her nightstand, but she wasn't intending on using the next few minutes as blackmail.

\------------

+Roblox private message log+

**PenginDia**: Thank you for leaving the game, that goes to show that you respect my sister and wish no harm. 

**Rikochi**: No I don't #### about your sister I literally just didn't want you to shut down my petition 

**Rikochi**: And you know what I think I'm gonna sue you >:) 

**Zuramaru**: Oh this bitch wants to fight zura

**Chikan**: Hanamaru I will yeet mikans at your window 

**Chikan**: I'm sure your fatass would eat them anyways 

**Zuramaru**: we're pulling up bitch prepare yourself zura

**Rikochi**: in what? Your tricycle? 

**PenginDia: **Buu buu fucking desu wa, in the Lamborghini Mari gave me for my birthday 

\--------------

"Ruby, Hold my bread." Hanamaru pulled out about 43 more loaves of bread and set them on the table. 

Dia followed suit, but rather with 34 crosses and plushies, following Hanamaru out the door. 

"Why can't I have a normal life?" Ruby said as she stared at the bread on the table.

"With the frizz? no way!" Dia said before shutting the front door shut.


	2. Riko becomes ms. Frizzle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riko becomes mrs. Frizzle, Dia gets bribed easy, Ruby plays osu for 3 hours straight and more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I-  
Ok so I know this took hella long but I procrastinate too much oops  
I know I said last chapter they were going to play longer this chapter but I ended up saving that for chapter 3  
Some cameos here  
Spoilers from the love live sunshine movie

“Chika, do you actually think they’re gonna fight us?” Riko stared at her girlfriend after that roblox fight with Hanamaru and Dia. 

"Now why in the gosh darn dangin' hell would Hanamaru's fatass and Dia's Holy ass do that? 

Chika hoped Riko wouldn't notice the tremble in her voice, since she knows what happens when Dia gets angry, especially over Ruby. 

"B-but we should still _ call _ them just to make sure they aren't actually mad."

[Discord call] 

Chikan69: H-hello? 

Zuramaru: It's a bit too fucking late to back out now, isn't it zura? 

Chikan69: We're not backin' out ya know we'z was just wondering when in the horsecock you were gonna show up so that Riko can beat yer ass with an Arkansas toothpick. 

Rikochi: Um excuse me literally I didn't sign up fo-

Chikan69: What's that goddamn frickin frackin sound in the backgroun'? 

Hanamaru turned on her front camera, showing view of her and Dia in a bus? 

Hanamaru had a Panera bread bag in her hand. 

(Dia) Zuramaru: Vroom vroom in the name of jesus

Zuramaru: I am going to choke Riko's wannabe basic white-ass with this bread. Zura. 

Rikochi: OK, first of fucking all bitch, I am not a wannabe, I am the most fucking basic of white girls. 

Chikan69: Didn’t yall say you were coming in of of em fancy vehicles? 

Zuramaru: We forgot that Kanan came by to borrow it, something about wanting to try something with Mari in an expensive car probably a new kink but anyway-

(Dia)Zuramaru: Watch your fucking back you ginger redneck fuck

With that the call ended, leaving Chika and Riko to stare at each other in shock. 

"Chika literally what just happened?" 

"I know right? I ain't no fuckin redneck!" Chika looked genuinely offended. 

"Let's make a video for my channel omg diy Starbucks coffee to relieve stress I saw it on a troom troom video." Riko started setting up her iPhone x as a camera, pulling out all the things she would need. 

"Hey what's up you guys it's Riko and today I'm here with my girlfriend Chika!" Riko gestured towards the redhead. 

"Ok, so today we are going to be making, diy Starbucks covfe- I mean coffee!" 

"So first you want to get your hot glue gun and pour the glue directly into your coffee, then you need to get the blood of your enemies and-" 

_ Bang _

"Allow me to introduce myself!" Hanamaru kicked in the door to Riko's room, the Panera plastic bag from before in her left hand, her right hand yielding the hardest baguette the ginger duo had ever seen in their entire lives. 

"Sweet sticky molasses how the fuck did ya get into ma room?"

Hanamaru reached into her coat pocket, pulling out…a small puppy. 

“Literally why do all the worst things happen to me!?"

Riko shoved Chika in front of her in an attempt to escape through Chika's balcony onto hers, barely avoiding the bread Hanamaru threw at her. 

Riko somehow managed to jump the space between the balconies, tumbling into her own room. 

"Now I can make my diy hotgluefrappuccino in peace! teeheeteeheeteeheehee!" 

"Ew bitch why do you laugh like that?" Dia said from the corner of Chika room. 

"MOM DIA BROKE INTO MY ROOM AGAIN GET THE JAWS OF LIFE OMG!" 

"You mess with Ruby you get the Scooby." Dia pulled out a water gun full of again, with what she considered the most holy of waters and pointed it at the redhead. 

"Or in this case, the sin cleanser 3000, you must be cleansed Riko. See Jesus.” Dia shot the water gun towards the other girl.

“Take chances, make mistakes, get messy!” Riko started screeching on the floor, alerting the attention of the other 2 girls in Chika's room.

Mrs. Sakurauchi gently knocked at Riko's door before opening it slightly. 

"Is everything ok in here? Dia, didn't we already have the conversation about breaking into my house? Do I have to call Mari again? 

"Uh-um no ma'am that won't b-be necessary. I'm just spreading the good word of the lord is all."

“Heck, she must’ve used the magic school bus water instead of the holy water Zura!” Hanamaru threw a dog grenade down and immediately left the room, leaving Chika to drown in dog slobber and choke on the hardest of baguettes

“Retreat Dia, retreat! But grab some of their apple juice-it's gonna be _ that _kinda night zura. 

Dia ran down into the inn’s kitchen, about to check the cabinets before being stopped by Chika herself, who somehow managed to escape the dogs and get into Riko's house. 

“Literally get out omg now I have to become a Riko impersonation I need alone time you literally just cursed Riko shes a fucking miss Frizzle copy I dont need this right now >:(“

Dia backed away out the door and back into the bus where Hanamaru was waiting.

“So where’s the juice zura?” 

“Uh they didn’t have any. Let’s come back later with actual holy water, and find Kanan because she needs to give me back my fucking lambo.”

With that team rocket Hanamaru and Dia drove off into the sky, Hanamaru somehow managing to shoot 3 birds at Chika as they flew the bus past their rooms.

\----------

Back in Yoshiko's room, You stopped dry humping the body pillow, and had now started having a conversation with it. 

You: So, You come here often? 

(Yoshiko) Pillow: Only when I see smexy numazu girls 

You: Yoshiko it talks! 

You: What do you like to do for fun? 

You sensually asked the pile of fluff. 

Pillow: I enjoy slaughtering fuckgirls and turning them into body pillows 

You:

Yoshiko:

Even the pillow:

Yoshiko: Wait what the fuck I didn't say anything this time?

You: What did you say Yohane number 2?

Yoshiko: I'm supposed to be your number one goddammit! 

Yoshiko pushed You off of her bed, but forgot about the obvious window being open, and so incredibly close to the bed. 

You: Sweet Jesus woman I was just kidding! 

Pillow: Wow, the jealousy _ jumped _out. 

Yoshiko: You, you have to choose between the pillow, or me. 

You was holding on to the edge of the window sil, getting interrogated by her jealous potential girlfriend was not what she wanted to deal with at the moment. 

You: But I don't know which is which!

Pillow: You know your jealousy is being caught on tape right lmao

Yoshiko: Ah, fuck this. 

You: change that 'this' to a 'me' and you got yourself a deal. 

Yoshiko: You’re saying this while dangling off of my window sil I won't hesitate to throw you the fuck off-

You: Hey what's that? 

You pointed upwards with her free hand. 

Yoshiko: I won't fall for you bullshit You! 

You: No seriously, it's a flying fucking schoolbus oh my god maybe I'll meet Mrs. Frizzle!

Yoshiko: It's just the whiskey talking! 

Yoshiko pulled the ashen-haired girl up back into her room, letting her lay in the covers and sleep the whiskey away. 

Yoshiko: I'm going to go out for a while, stay here a bit, maybe if you sleep your fuckgirl meter will go down. 

Yoshiko left the room, making sure the camera was still rolling. 

\-----------

"Ah come on! I almost freaking had that one!" 

Ruby stared at the 'A' on her screen. You'd think playing osu with Leah for 3 hours straight would at least get you one S out of easy mode. 

"Leah, can we do something else? My hands are cramped and I'm tired of this game."

"Hell the fuck no Ruby, I'm going to make a NEET out of you and I'll be damned if I die before I see you become a pro osu player!" 

"Aren't we supposed to have fun though?" The redhead meekly asked her goth girlfriend. 

"Do you think anyone that plays this game actually has fun!? Ruby, people don't play games for fun that's the funniest thing you've said all day! Now back to clicking circles!" 

"Can we at least take a break first? I need some fresh air." 

"Alright, we can take a walk I suppose."

The shut-ins left the house for the first time in 3 hours, which felt like 3 days. 

"Whoa, the hell is that?" Leah pointed upwards. 

"Oh that's just Dia and Hanamaru. I thought they would've been done beating up Riko and Chika by now though?" 

"Let's follow them, it's not like we have anywhere else to go."

As the goth girlfriend led her soon to be a goth girlfriend towards the bus, it came to an abrupt stop.

"There it is, there's my Lambo!" Dia ran toward her car and inspected it, making sure it wasn't robbed or anything was broken. 

"Did you check the windows sister?" Ruby and Leah went towards them, Ruby looking through the passenger seat window. 

"Hey Leah, what are they doing?" 

"They?" Dia looked through the window seeing her 2 hormonal friends going at it. But in the back of her Car. They were fucking in _ her _car

"Hanamaru. We're going back to Walmart, to get some proper fucking holy water.”

“Ok, zura."

"Hey can Me and Leah come this time? We really don't have anything else to do, and I don't think I can tap another circle."

"I guess so, but we have to read Bible verses along the way."

"I'm gonna drive this time zura."

As the 4 got into the bus to drive off, somehow going unnoticed by Kanan and Mari, Yoshiko somehow caught up right before it lifted off and grabbed the handle on the back of the bus. 

"There we go, now I just have to OH MY FUCKING-" 

Hanamaru stepped stomped on the pedal and the bus was legit shaking. 

Yoshiko tried climbing around to find an opening, and ended up finding a window and basically launching herself into the bus. 

"Yoshiko-" 

"Yohane bitch. Chika texted me and told me what happened with the Roblox thing, but now Riko can't stop quoting the magic school bus, and she's paying me to fix it." 

"Ok but that doesn't explain why the fuck you're here though."

"We're going to Walmart right? I need to buy stuff for the ritual so I can get my money."

With that the group landed on the roof of Walmart, and proceeded to invade the shopping center. 

Dia went straight to the manager's office to complain about the mixup between products. 

"May I speak to the manager please?" 

"Um we don't have one." The woman said. You know, like a liar. 

"LYING IS SIN I'VE TALKED TO HER BEFORE!" 

Dia snapped her fingers and in an instant Hanamaru ran out of the bread aisle and KO'd the worker on the spot.

"Thanks Hanamaru, everything is on me for today." As Hanamaru smirked evilly and walked away, Dia kicked in the door to the manager's office. 

"I knew you were in here! Fucking Honoka!"

The brown haired Walmart manager sat at her desk, staring blankly at the intruder. 

"What do you want now Dia?" the ginger-brunette sighed."

"The labels on your products are way too fucking similar to each other!" As Dia kept going off on Honoka, the worker pulled out 40,000 dollars worth of cash in fat stacks. 

"If I give you this can you like never come back and shut the fuck up before I sic Umi on your soccer mom looking ass?" 

"Ok." Dia took the cash and left feeling content with herself, knowing damn well she was going to come back in a week. 

Meanwhile, Yoshiko was In the Starbucks at the front of the store. 

"Welcome to Starbucks coffee what would you like?" 

"Um do you have anything that can cure a basic white girl turned into a ms. Frizzle copy?" 

"Ooh, yeah we just ran out of those." The barista said as she watched a blonde haired girl walk away with the drink, the name 'Nozomi' being heard from her a few times. 

"But you _ can _always just look online and make them yourself! Or just go to the Starbucks literally across the street from here."

"Oh ok thanks."

Once Yoshiko arrived after almost being hit by a car that looked suspiciously alot like the one from earlier, she tried again to place her order. 

"Do you have anything that can cure a basic white girl turned into a ms fucking Frizzle copy?"

"Of course! How many would that be?" 

"About 5."

"Ah, we've only got 3 of the main ingredients in stock, so i’m afraid we can only make you 3. Can I have a name?"

"Yohane."

"THAT'S HER SHE'S THE ONE That PIRATED MINECRAFT THE COPS ARE ON THEIR WAY DON'T RESIST!!"

"I've done no such thing! The fallen angel Yohane is a law abiding citizen!" 

"Then why does it say, 'Fallen angel Yohane lmao no going to jail today sorry babe' on this order!?" 

"Because fucking You ordered it!" 

"Nope. Sorry, not enough proof." As soon as the barista finished talking, a girl dressed in a party city cop costume with black hair and purple eyes waltzed through the door. 

"Don't move criminal scum!" Yoshiko threw a chair in an attempt to escape the sudden escalation of the situation. 

"Fuck!" The cop stumbled back a bit, before sprinting to follow the 'criminal' not really knowing what crime she'd even committed. 

Yoshiko was running in the direction of her apartment, which just so happened to be 30 minutes away, something the non-athlete wouldn't be able to handle. 

She slowed down after a good 2 minutes, surrendering at last. 

"Finally! Jesus woman why did you run?!" 

"Because you were chasing me?" Yoshiko noticed how similarly she looked to You, she even talked a bit like her too. 

"I was only chasing you because I knew it wasn't actually you who pirated the game. It was obviously my stupid cousin You."

"EW WAIT WHAT THE FUCK THERE ARE MORE OF YOU?!" 

"I mean I guess. Now come on, tell me where your house is so I can break her legs for pirating. I'd thought she would learn her lesson after last time."

"What happened last time?" 

"Uh, you should just ask _ her _.

\----------------

Kanan and Mari were driving around in the soccer mom's Lamborghini, acting as if nothing happened in the back of the car. 

"I sense that an interesting chain of events has just occurred and I'm a bit concerned."

"Babe if you're talking about a series of events besides what we did 20 minutes ago, I'm lost."

"Hey whats that?" Kanan squinted to try and see what the white thing that looked to be moving by the wind. 

She parked the car in a random Chili's parking lot, wanting to get a closer look. 

"Kanan, that's how those white people in movies die, why are you pressed on knowing what that random thing is?" 

"I don't know, maybe it has to do with that weird feeling from earlier?" 

Kanan got out of the car, making her way towards the object. 

"Yoshiko I'm sorry come back!" You was chasing the object, she came out of literally nowhere

"You what the hell are you doing? Why are you chasing-" She examined the item further

"A sexy Yoshiko body pillow?" 

"Forgive me Yoshik-" You was cut off by the blue and red lights and siren of a cop car. 

"There the fucker is! Arrest her ass Tsuki!" 

"TSUKI?! HOLY SHIT MAN KANAN YOU GOTTA GET ME OUT OF HERE!" 

You grabbed the pillow and Kanan pulled her towards the car, Settling her in the back. 

"Mari, get you can get in the driver's seat." Kanan switched places with the blonde, already starting to regret her decision. 

"I haven't done this since that time me, Riko, and Yoshiko robbed a bank!" Mari stepped stomped on the gas. 

"Exfuckingscuseme?" You, just like Kanan, was regretting her past decisions.. 

"It's joke!" Mari was drifting on the road, Tsuki and Yoshiko following closely behind. 

They began to go downhill, the speed of the car increased, Yoshiko and Tsuki were getting closer. 

"You, I will break not only your legs but your arms too if you don't stop resisting!" Tsuki used the speakers of the police car she stole. 

"Full speed afuckinghead!" 

“Wait Mari what the hell is that a reindeer?!” 

“That’s not a reindeer thats Hanamaru you inconsiderate fuck.”


	3. The Sexy Yoshiko Body Pillow establishes itself once again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the worst thing ever please enjoy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm uploading this for You's birthday since I realized I've had this sitting in my drafts since like august? I swear I don't regularly write in this format unless its crack-

"Did we just do a flip?" Kanan asked somewhat calmly. 

"Hell yeah we did!" Mari continued abusing the speed from the sports car and managed to escape the duo in Tsuki's shitty cop car.

"What do we do now?" Kanan looked over at You, seeing the most traumatic look on her face. 

"I-I'm going to face Tsuki, once and for all." The trembling girl got out of the car, stepping to the side of the road, watching the black-haired girl drift next to the sports car. 

"You, none of this was necessary!" The dark haired girl out of the car, standing face to face with the ashen-haired girl. 

"Tsuki, did you chase me for those times last year I ate your goldfish? Or griefed your house in minecraft? Or stole your second girlfriend? Or fucked your third girlfriend?" 

Tsuki stared at the dullard in front of her, shock evident on her face. 

"Holy shit Kanan are you getting this!?" Mari nudged Kanan seeing her camera was on. 

"It's because you pirated minecraft?" Tsuki stared at You in bewilderment but mostly shock, and the other girls' fear increased dramatically. 

"Oh haha, um… it's joke?" You turned and sprinted in the direction of Yoshiko's house, to escape the source of absolute fury behind her. 

"I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR FUCKING LEGS YOU!" 

"I SAID IT WAS _ JOKE _!" 

The sky was a light, cloudy indigo, it was getting dark. 

You kept sprinting, too afraid to look behind her. When Tsuki threatens to break a bone- well actually she has yet to break any bones but there's a first time for everything I suppose. 

After 15 minutes of running, energy from her high adrenaline, You got into Yoshiko's house, a spare key in her pocket. 

5 minutes later, the feeling of dread came back. 

"OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!" 

"I said it was _ joke _ Tsuki get over it!" 

"Only Mari says 'it's joke' you can't fool me!" You decided to go stay in Yoshiko's room, having dealt with enough today.

"Gotcha bitch!" You forgot to close the windows, allowing for an interesting passage for her blood-thirsty relative.

"Wait wait! We can talk about this right?!" You sat up in the bed, staring at the figure in the window sill.

"Oh of course let's talk about how my stupid-ass fuck girl cousin fucked my girlfriend of course we can!" 

"Really? Wow thanks Tsuki!" 

You didn't stop screaming for another 20 minutes. 

\--

Dia drove flew Kanan, You, Yoshiko, Ruby, Leah, Mari, and Chika to the hospital in her bus. 

Hanamaru was at the front of the bus, galloping mid air like a reindeer. Ruby thought it was a real one. 

Riko was already in the hospital, the doctors still trying to find a cure for the Mrs. Frizzle virus she had contracted. 

"So that happened." Yoshiko stared at You who was unconscious, her head on her lap. 

"Wow, all those times You acted as the straight man makes no sense now!" Mari thought out loud.

"Yoshi-hoe, Did you brang the gosh darn dangin Frickin frackin demonic shit ya said you was bringin'?" Chika was in the seat behind them, also staring at the two. 

Leah reflectively made a face of disgust. "Ew are you not doing the basic white girl thing anymore?" 

"Yeah, we just need to stall the nurses for long enough so they don't interrupt the ritual."

"Fucking redneck." Leah mumbled to herself. 

"Hey, is Yoshiko technically antivax?" Kanan wondered out loud. 

"I don't have Polio do I!?" Yoshiko seemed offended. 

"You have a point, sorry for that."

"What you _ should _ be sorry for, is the fact that you and Mari were _ fucking _in the back of my car!" 

Any small conversation that was being had at the moment completely faltered, everyone staring at the flushed 2.

"Well I mean _ I _was technically the one that bought the car so like-" 

"You bought me the car on my birthday, correct. But you did it in exchange for Ruby to say the f word!" 

"Mhm, and she didn't, right?" Mari hummed.

"Wow you guys are weirdos." The sexy Yoshiko body pillow said from the back of the bus. 

"Now why in the gosh darn dang Frickin frackin cow willy is there a body pillow talking?" 

"Silence redneck scum, or I'll cancel you on twitter. but anyways, you can continue now." The sexy Yoshiko body pillow stayed in the corner of the bus. 

"Ignoring that, I _ do _need at least one of you to help me get the coffee required for the ritual since the Starbucks I first went to had nothing because fucking Ayase Eli got the last one.." 

Yoshiko didn't notice the bus come to a sudden sharp turn. "And we already know what happened with Tsuki."

"Yoshiko. You saw Eli Ayase at Walmart?" the bus started getting a bit faster. 

"Its Yohane! And, well uh, yeah? But why are we going in a different direction from the hospital You's leg is bleeding all over the-" 

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME-" Dia dove into the Walmart she had been going full speed ahead towards. 

"HONKY WHERE THE _ heck _ IS ELI?" Dia kicked in the door to the manager's office, for the second time that day. "Where's Honky? Why in God's name, is YouMari's love child in her office?" 

"YouMari's love child? You mean Ai Miyashita?" Kanan was confused because what the fuck. 

"Ew… Mari, hand me the shotgun." The Gordon Ramsay clone complied and soon the pdp clone was soaked in holy water, and melting into the floor. 

"Well. I guess we'll go to the hospital now. Come along kiddos let's have a single file line." Kanan led the **Chirren **back into the bus. 

At the hospital, Yoshiko was drawing a pentagram on the floor with red paint, candles on each point. 

"I got some shitty hospital coffee from downstairs, the 5 types you told me on the list. Hanamaru almost fucking ate the cups though." Leah entered the room with Ruby and Hanamaru behind her. 

"Iced, Latte, Cappuccino, Black, Espresso, and Monster Energy?" Yoshiko verified. 

"Yeah, why'd you need the energy drink though?" Leah looked around for the juice in the Thomas the train cup she brought. 

"You'll never take me alive, zura!" 

Hanamaru ran out of the room screaming with a very similar looking cup in her hand. 

"It was supposed to be for me, but I guess Fattymaru got to it first." Yoshiko lined up the cups across from each other in the middle of the circle, so Riko laid in the middle. 

"Alright, before I do this, I need no interruptions. Dia, Mari, and Kanan are guarding the door right?" Ruby nodded. 

Yoshiko plugged in the hot glue gun and poured 5 gallons of glue into each coffee cup.

"O' for how the whitest of thy white girls hath fallen. Redeem thyself, with thy hydroflask return to your Tumblr account!" 

Riko immediately stood up and gasped. "Oh my god literally I haven't posted a picture of me and that redneck bitch in like literally 4 hours wow!" 

Chika and Riko were aggressively making out on the floor, so Kanan decided not to let the **chirren** get corrupted any longer. 

"Alright kids I want another single file li-" Mari cut in before Kanan could finish: "I want a single fucking file line or I'll cancel all of your credit cards!" The kids lined up almost instantly. 

"Fuck you mom I do what I want! Yoshiko sat in place for about 5 seconds before finally getting up and joining the other, law abiding citizens.

As they got closer to You's room, they heard weird sounds and shouting. "What the fuck, did Tsuki break in again?" 

Kanan pushed open the door emitting the inappropriate sounds, and quickly shut it afterwards. 

"Avert your eyes children!" Kanan tried to ignore the cries of help from the room, before finally opening the door again. 

"Why is the nurse licking You's shin?" Yoshiko finally spoke up. "Is this a new kink you have?" Dia followed. 

"Apparently my blood is actually 50% strawberry jam."

"_ What _ kind of danganronpa type shit is this?" Mari muttered 

"What's the other 50% captain crunch?" Yoshi-hoe asked. 

"Yohane's cum-" Dia glared at You before she could finish her sentence. "I mean uh, well it's actually just all strawberry jam and emoji movie ratings."

"Ew what the fuck this is terrible." The nurse stopped licking You's still bleeding leg and left the room, making gagging noises upon hearing about the emoji movie ratings. 

"Dia, spray her with your holy water, it'll cure her leg quick right?~" Mari said as she patted around the christian mom, looking for the 'sin cleanser 5000'. 

"Remove your filthy hands you heathen!" Dia pulled the super soaker out of her cleavage, and shot the rich blonde girl. 

"Goddammit Dia you were supposed to soak You's leg, now I’m suddenly wearing a dress made purely out of lamb sauce!”

Dia Shot at You's leg and hip hip fucking hurray she was cured. While Dia was posting about said miracle on her christian mingle page, Ruby pulled out her easy bake oven and made some burnt snickerdoodles. 

"Here You, cookies for your sudden recovery!" Ruby handed You the plate of burnt snickerdoodles. 

"Holy shit Ruby burnt cookies are my favorite!" You ate the cookies along with the plate, smacking her fingers afterwards. 

"Taste like Yoshiko." You gave Ruby an 'ok' sign before attempting to dodge all of Yoshiko's punches. 

"Single file line once again!" Kanan led the wannabe rebellious children in a single file line back onto the bus, after breaking apart an inappropriate act that Chika and Riko were engaging in. 

"Chika what did I say about vore?" Kanan looked at the ginger in shame.

"Only do it at Muse concerts..." Chika sighed. You started snickering. Chika looked at the source. "Shut up You, I looked through the file that says ‘don’t open’ on your laptop-" Chika retorted with a suddenly non-redneck like accent? 

"Anyways! Yohabae, you wanna keep playing minecraft when we get home? It's only like 8."

"I thought we would continue next week but ok I guess." Yoshiko looked over at Mari and Kanan, who already seemed fine with continuing the game. 

"Hey who's missing?" Kanan looked around the line. "Where's Hanamaru?" 

"I saw this reindeer that looked exactly like her earlier!" Ruby beamed. "Oh hey look another Hanamaru-lookalike reindeer!" Mari pointed to the girl parading people to give her their food.

"Alright, I'll deal with that, christian mingle soccer mom’s in charge." With that Kanan went to retrieve Hanamaru from the thirsty onlookers, and Dia was in charge. 

"Listen up you little shits, except Ruby of course, I demand you all to scream any Muse song for 5 minutes straight please and thank you."

"ToDokEtE sEtsUnaSa Ni wA!" I mean Dia seemed cool with it. 

20 minutes later, Kanan finally got onto the bus, but with Hanamaru latched onto her arm, biting it.

"Hanamaru _ I'm _ the only one allowed to eat Kanan, that's why you look like Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer!" 

"No vore please no vore." Dia's pointed to a sign on the bus that stated the rule if you squint. 

"Why am I friends with any of you?" Yoshiko muttered from under a bus seat. 

\---------------------------------

_Yoshiko's house_

"Alright, now I can check the camera I left in my room." Yoshiko immediately dropped You, who was for some reason getting a piggyback ride from her. 

"Woah woah, we don't need to do that, we can just um, trust each other!" 

"You I swear to Satan what the fuck did you do in my room?" 

"Ha, the camera's probably dead anyway!" 

"I'll charge it and check it later, can't wait to blackmail you." Yoshiko and You both setup to play more minecraft, even though it's been a _ long _ day. 

"Teach me how to play so I don't die again dammit!" 

"You'll still die but alright." You opened discord and texted Kanan and Mari, asking if they were ready for the grueling task ahead. 

[Discord call] 

Group name: 420GRUccigang 

**ShinEy started a call**

Kanan: What is popping? 

Mari: JiMo Ai jImo aI

You: thank you for your contribution to this ship Mari 

Yoshiko: Well at least we Don't have to hide in different rooms of the house again

Also ew Kanan don't say it like that 

Kanan: Im playing in the bathroom with the door locked. I'm scared. 

Mari: it's not like I'm gonna vore you again 

Yoshiko: Someone setup the server before I force you all to play Roblox 

You: Anything but that don't do this babe

Yoshiko: You shut the fuck up

Mari: I just forced Kanan to setup the server again the word thing is up or whatever 

Yoshiko: So, have you dullards heard about Riko becoming a vsco girl? 

Mari: lmao she basic what did you expect

Kanan: I mean she has a whole youtube channel up she's on par with 5 minute crafts and troom troom

You: am I the only one that didn't know about this? 

Yoshiko: what do you even watch on youtube? 

** _Yohane's Bitch has joined the server _ **

** _Waturr has joined the server _ **

** _Yohane has joined the server _ **

** _ShinEy has joined the server _ **

Mari: so we back in the mine

Kanan: Mari please no 

You: got our pickaxe swing from 

Mari: Side to side

Yoshiko: what? 

You: Side, side to side

Kanan: If you continue singing that god forsaken song I’ll take 4 of your credit cards and give them to Ruby. We all know what happened the last time Ruby got her hands on your credit cards.

Mari: wow Kanan really hates this song huh

Mari said as she spammed the lyrics in the groupchat.

Kanan: Mari no

Mari: Mari yes

Yoshiko: So we're just gonna ignore the fact that Mari has 4 credit cards? 

Mari: 44 actually 

Mari: Last time we went looking for a village right? And then Yoshi-hoe died

Yoshiko: I spawned in the water again, what do I do? 

You: You get out of it what the fuck

Kanan: You, you should stop cussing so fucking much, you cuss like a sailor 

You: Damn hypocrite I don't curse like a fucking sailor 

You: Ok, maybe I do, but who cares? 

Yoshiko: I bet you can't say a single cuss word until monday 

You: What do I get if I win? 

Yoshiko: I’ll let you hold my hand whenever you want

Mari: Thats pretty kinky Yoshiko 

You: FU- I mean I consent to this agreement.

Kanan: Thats pretty homosexual to be honest 

Kanan set a crafting table in front of Yoshiko, having found her near You while the others were talking. 

Kanan: Here, craft some sticks 

Yoshiko: What can I use them for? 

Mari: You can stick them in your-

Kanan: A FAMILY FRIENDLY DISCUSSION MARI 

Mari: I meant you can stick them in the crafting table with stones or something to make a ShinEy sword damn Kanan

Kanan sent a pdf on crafting recipes to the group. 

You: Heck yeah I found a village!

Mari: You know hearing You say heck is honestly a little too weird for me

Kanan: Yikes

Yoshiko: Where are you? I would like to see these villagers myself and teach them the ways of a fallen angel

You: Go uh, North 

Yoshiko: Are you directionally challenged? 

Kanan: Most likely 

Mari: Imagine actually taking directions from You and her and leading you the wrong way lmao i’d sue

Yoshiko: Why would you need to sue anyone? you literally buy g-wagons for fun 

You: Yeah uh, speaking of which Mari, our lord and savior, I wouldn't mind getting one for my birthday as long as you and Kanan don't-

Mari: We don't need to bring up, memories from like 3 years ago now do we? 

Yoshiko: You mean three hours ago? 

Mari: Yoshi-hoe don't make me kick you out of guilty kiss

You: I looted the blacksmith and none of you third years are getting anything 

Kanan: Give me half or you're grounded 

You: Do the third years have a fetish for blackmail or something what the fu- fishstick 

Kanan used the wooden sword she had crafted just a few seconds ago to assault You while she was running away with the 2 pieces of horse armor and 4 diamonds she had acquired. 

Yoshiko: you're gonna slip up and cuss and I'm gonna cackle 

You: Wow if you wanted to hold my hand that bad you could've just asked me babe

Yoshiko: I just saw Mari kill a pig with her bare hands is this what she's capable of

Kanan: we've killed the ender dragon before 

Yoshiko: There's a dragon in this game? 

You: Have you no childhood watching minecraft let's plays? 

Yoshiko: I've never even heard of minecraft 

Mari: I'm back 

You: You left in the first place? 

Kanan: Yeah did you guys not hear the scream

Yoshiko: I mean I muted her a while ago

Mari: I'm officially kicking you out of guilty kiss and replacing you with the sexy Yoshiko body pillow at least _ she _ understands me 

You: I bet the sexy Yoshiko body pillow would let me cuss and sTilL let me hold her hand

Yoshiko: For the sake of Satan 

Mari: Which one of you fucks trapped me in dirt 

You: Kanan

Kanan: You

Yoshiko: The both of them

Mari: As a penalty you shall now give me all of the shit you got from blacksmith or I'll sue

Kanan: Ha, I didn't get a penalty. 

Mari: No sex in expensive cars for a month 

Kanan: Wait- Mari please no-

Mari: Mari please yes

Yoshiko: Besides You, I think Mari is the horniest person in our group, she won't actually last a month. 

Mari: That's why the body pillow is better than you 

You: I call dibs on the church being me and Yoshiko's temporary house

Mari: Ew who's Idea was it to get the furniture mod

Kanan: Is it because you have a phobia of oak wood tables

Mari: No its birch wood tables and anything from that spawn of Satan's store Lowe's

You: thank you for exposing more of your weaknesses 

Yoshiko: no one says dibs anymore but a church would be pretty ironic for me to live in

Yoshiko: I'm down

Yoshiko saw You's name tag and logically decided to go in a similar direction, before realizing that she was just standing in place.

“You, why the fuck are you on top of the fridge?"

"How else am I supposed to get to the ice cream?" 

Yoshiko face planted into her keyboard. 

"By standing in front of it like a normal person and opening it?" 

"Never seen anyone do whatever the hel- hec- helicopter you're talking about." You shrugged and grabbed as much mochi as she could, before falling off of the fridge and landing on her back. 

"You almost said heck, you're on thin fucking ice, You." Yoshiko said as she pretended not to be concerned for the girl in the kitchen. 

"How come you can curse but I can't?!" You was now walking back to the open laptop, offering Yoshiko some of the ice-cream. 

"My house, my rules." Yoshiko said smugly and went back to playing minecraft, not noticing the snickering over the call. 

"Then let's do it at _ my _house next time." You managed to say in a weirdly sultry voice before turning back to her own screen. 

"The way you said it almost makes me want to consider it." Yoshiko muttered under her breath. 

Mari: You two have so much sexual tension it's not even joke anymore

Yoshiko: Shit I forgot you guys were here

Mari: I'm hurt Yoshi-hoe, here I was thinking my presence was unforgettable 

Kanan: I must say that your presence frightens me sometimes but it's unforgettable for the most part

**Yoshiko managed to find the village and what she assumed was the church. **

You: go find some sheep we need wool

Yoshiko: I rest only upon black fabric 

You: Just get the white wool first edgelord

Mari: Just hit the sheep a few times and you get something shiny 

Yoshiko: That took longer than I expected 

Kanan: And if you want a black bed you have to kill a squid and get its dye

Yoshiko: I’m assuming the squids are in the water?

Mari: Go find water then damn

You: Make a pickaxe first so you can get stone, then make a sword

here let me give you some of my wood for now

Yoshiko: As you should 

You: you know what- 

**You used one of the stone swords she already had to “strike” the datenshi a few times**

Yoshiko: You can hit people in this game!?

**Yoshiko half-yelled as she tried to run from the source, she didn’t know how to sprint though.** ****

Mari: As my great grandmother always said, if you can hit a pig, you sure as hell can brutally murder your friends without regret or mercy.

Yoshiko: Thats metal as hell

You: Thats metal as heck

Kanan: That's Mari as hell

** _Yohane was slayed by Yohane’s Bitch_ **

You: oops 

Kanan: Yoshiko remains unresponsive 

You: was that supposed to be a punch 

Yoshiko: Oh I’ll give you a punch 

Mari: This sounds alot like violent flirting 

Kanan: This one’s my house

Mari: YOU’RE REALLY ABOUT TO LIVE IN A HUT

Kanan: What's wrong with it

Mari: how are we supposed to make room for two people in it

Kanan: Two people? This is _ my _ house 

Mari: Is this rejection?

Kanan: Mari there’s literally all these other-

Mari: Shut up Kanan, I don’t want to hear your filthy excuses

Kanan: What

Mari: I’ll go live with my loving underclassmen 

Yoshiko: No you won't

Kanan: You sound out of breath

You: What are you talking about 

Mari: You does too 

Kanan: Holy shit 

You: we really have no clue what you’re talking about 

Kanan: Call me in dms dumbass 

Yoshiko: You left the room so I can't even hear what they’re saying

Mari: Don't be shy tell me what happened

Yoshiko: Literally nothing 

Mari: If you don’t tell me I’ll-

Yoshiko: More blackmail? Money? You’ll sue?

Mari: Don’t put out my methods like that damn

Kanan: My day is ruined

You: I told Kanan that Yoha-bae chased me around and tried to punch me and she thought something else?

Mari: One day they’ll do it, one day

Yoshiko: Dang all my stuff is gone

You: Can you find the village on your own again 

Yoshiko: I suppose I can be aided in finding my humble abode

You: Datenshi mode is literally an on/off switch 

Kanan: Who the hell is that 

Mari: The person with the pillow skin?

Kanan: Well there goes You and Yoshiko's house

Yoshiko: what 

You: Which one of you as- fu- nice people griefed our house?

Yoshiko: Hold up someone's at the door 

You: Who has the nerve to interrupt me and Yoha-bae’s intimate time together

\--

“Who is it?” Yoshiko, being sensible, looked through the peephole in the door. “I’m you but full of cotton.” 

Yoshiko opened the door to see the Sexy Yoshiko body pillow, who wasted no time and pushed past her into the house.

“Why is the Datenshi body pillow here-?”

“I griefed your house and just happened to know because I’m Yoshiko but not really.” The body pillow suddenly fell flat and started jolting around. 

“Is there a hospital for inanimate objects?” Yoshiko pulled out her phone and was about to speed dial the first number in her phone.

Out of the sexy Yoshiko body pillow emerged none other than Dia herself!

“I felt a certain need to further establish myself in this chapter in order to prove that being Eli Ayase crazed and driving a flying bus isn’t a personality trait!”

“Yoshiko-Chan are you hearing this shit?” 


End file.
